marmalade dreaming

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

wouldn't it be fun to have a stall at the markets. which markets, i'm not sure. what the stall would sell, i'm not sure either. i don't think you can have a whole stall dedicated to toe rings. then again, it's my stall. i can write my own rules.

" you're just a hopeless stitch in time....but then for your crimes...please find yourself a little guilty with these your conscience on my mind" - gomez

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

it's nice when random people visit our house.

i wonder just how offended/upset god gets when i don't put him first. i know he totally forgives me whenever i do it and totally loves me anyway and is so ready to help me change...but i wonder just how much i hurt him in the process. actually, maybe i don't want to know. maybe i should. maybe i shouldn't...i don't know. putting absolutely anything in front of him is really such an obviously stupid thing, but at the same time it's often not obvious at all when it's happening. it's a jolly good thing saving the world isn't up to us. of course we have important parts to play, but we're not the ones calling the shots. we're not the ones with the whole world in our hands. thank god.

another stupid thing is how somebody like me can sit somewhere like this and be worrying about something like what to wear to a party next weekend, while on the other side of the world someone else is worrying about where they're going to sleep tonight. actually, if they're on the other side of the world then they might be asleep already. but the point remains that materialism is big, fat, very silly and pretends to be comfortable.

"and why do you sing hallelujah...if it means nothing to you...why do you sing with me at all?" - damien rice

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

wouldn't it be fun if more people used theatre/film jargon in everyday life?

short sleeves, cold showers, green leaves, pretty flowers, skin irritations flairing up, turning free music publications into fans, enough sweat to make a cocktail...summer has made quite the entrance. even though technically, that doesn't happen till november. but it's poking it's head around the front door and carrying on with all the usual greetings and salutations all the same.

on hot days like today, my photo wall (as in, the wall in my bedroom that has lots and lots of photos on it) goes a bit pear-shaped. actually it's less like a pear and more just like lots of photos that are curling up at the corners because of the heat. it's this annual automatic three-dimensional effect that actually looks quite fun...but it requires a bit of maintainance otherwise they just fall off.

re-discovered how easily bored i get, and also how the slightest change of routine can help so much. the class we usually have on wednesdays is generally good, but always a bit sleepy. i daydream a lot on wednesdays. but today we had presentations from different people in the class, and that simple alteration of the usual schedule made me so much more attentive. there wasn't the need to daydream or snooze, as different people were getting up every few minutes. brilliant. amen to presentations. except when i have to do mine next week.

it's got to be one of the saddest things to realise that your interests and passions aren't shared by people you wish they were shared with, that you're starting to move in different directions and that you can't actually re-create what it's been like in the past because it's just that - in the past. not to say that things can't be exciting and that you can't go in wonderful, but new, directions together, but it's kind of like a change of mindset where you can no longer just assume things about the company you keep or will keep. i guess it's all just part of growing up and doing your own thing and making your own skipping ropes.


"all these wasted dreams...waiting for the open up my heart to anyone" - counting crows